PW's pilling up, OP's coming so soon and we're still so unprepared, skit not even rehearsed yet etc. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming my group, I think we all have our strong points but... we don't seem to reap the results by the amount of efforts we put in. Maybe we're quite last minute, but I guess I can thank God that we still remain intact as a group and argh, I know I can't stop ranting about PW.
Chinese A's. I can't believe I'm bothered by this cos 1) Chinese used to be my slackest subject back in Sec4. I don't bother studying Chinese and still get above-average grades. 2) My parents speak Mandarin at home so I thought I'm still being constantly exposed to it.
BUT I tell you, chinese A's is so tough, so abstract and so mind-boggling. I mean I can understand philo-kinda questions in like English, since we're exposed to it through GP. But I just can't gather my thoughts systematically and present them in constructive accurate Chinese sentences. Even mum sees that my chinese standard has been stagnant since Sec4, so I guess I won't aim for an A or something, slightly lower than that?
Sigh, and you. I don't know what to say, I know I've no rights to be bothered by your recent change in attitude and even know that leaving it alone may aleviate the problem alot more. Yeah I will do it, I tell myself that I'll do it, to stop comparing to the past and present for I definitely won't and never rewind time, to see the weaknesses in you so I can grow to have some dislike (and a little of being annoyed) within you, to stop wanting things in my way (your mentality, which sometimes I feel you're getting nowhere these days).
And I know I can be in a masquerade.
No worries, I'll let go of my mask when it's the right time, so I can retain some of myself. There's an optimum point for everything, and I believe in that. After releasing all responsibility, it'll be spending time with oneself.
And I'm so looking forward to that.